Real Credit Union Loans for Fictional Disasters
The SyFy Channel’s latest cinematic extravaganza, Sharknado, has provided quite a bit of entertainment for people all over the country, regardless of whether or not they have actually seen the movie (and there’s more to come, with Sharknado 2 in the pipeline). But did you know there is a financial product designed to relieve that particular “natural” disaster (well, except for the shark part)? Some credit unions have special loan options, including tornado relief loans and storm shelter loans, which can assist you in just about any disaster situation. With the summer movie season in full swing, we took a fond look back at some past disaster flicks and found credit union products that could help you in similar circumstances, whether you need a new computer to upload a virus to an alien mother ship, a new motorcycle to outrun giant radioactive spiders, or farm funding to take care of pesky crop circles.
Natural Disaster Recovery Loan – FASNY Federal Credit Union
Now I’m not saying that you should expect electrical storms full of evil ghosts to erupt in the middle of your city, but I am saying that they’re a very real threat (no, they’re not). FASNY Federal Credit Union has Natural Disaster Recovery Loans to help qualified members after a natural disaster like a hurricane or earthquake (or Ghost Storm). These loans have low interest rates tied to your credit score—the better your score, the lower the rate. The chances of a being turned into mush by a malevolent spirit taking on the guise of weather phenomenon are somewhat small, but FASNY Federal Credit Union’s Natural Disaster Recovery Loan will help you out when a real disaster strikes.
Boat Loans – DuPage Credit Union
If Jaws gets hungry and decides you and your boat look like a nice big floating hot dog, well, you’re probably going to need a bigger boat. DuPage Credit Union can help you pay for something a little better equipped to hold off a giant man-eating shark with their boat loans. They offer up to 100% financing, flexible repayment plans and they will beat a competitor’s rate by up to 0.25% to their current floor rate.
Jaws (Source: http://tinypic.com)
Motorcycle Loans – Mazuma Credit Union
Need a top-notch motorcycle to outrun giant spiders that can leap a quarter mile in a single bound and have advanced intelligence, along with a hunger for humans? Mazuma Credit Union has you covered with motorcycle loans that offer low rates, up to 100% financing, payment terms up to 72 months for qualified members, and pre-approval and GAP protection options. You’ll be zipping past those eight-legged monsters to safety in no time.
Eight Legged Freaks
Airplane Loan – Western Federal Credit Union
Had your dreams of flying the friendly skies interrupted by a pack of stowaway poisonous snakes? Western Federal Credit Union knows that is a common occurrence and they can help you get back in the air with an airplane loan. They offer up to 100% financing, terms up to 15 years, and low, fixed rates for new planes. There are no annual or prepayment fees. Just to be safe, you should probably have Samuel L. Jackson on board at all times, should any more snakes decide to slither onboard for a ride.
Snakes on a Plane (Source: Moviespad.com)
Technology and Computer Loan – Los Angeles Firemen’s Credit Union
Are you a computer expert who stumbled upon evidence of an impending alien attack? Do you need a laptop or computer quick, so that you and Will Smith can upload a virus into an attacking alien spaceship and save the planet from certain destruction? If so, Los Angeles Firemen’s Credit Union can help you out with their Technology and Computer Loan. You can get anywhere from $500 to $5,000 to fund your computer purchase, and the credit union offers reimbursement for previously purchased equipment within one year of the purchase date. You also get a complimentary Los Angeles Firemen’s Credit Union mouse pad.
Independence Day (Source: Hollywood.com)
Vacation Loan – SAFE Credit Union
If you choose the Southern California Coast as your summer vacation destination, be careful where you decide to go bungee jumping. The feared and totally real animal that exists in nature, the Sharktopus, might just decide to have you as a snack. In the event of such a calamity, or a real vacation mishap, a Vacation Loan from SAFE Credit Union can provide you with emergency funding. You can borrow from $500 to $10,000, and there is no application fee or collateral required. You get a low, fixed rate and payment terms of up to 36 months.
Sharktopus (Source: GIFSoup.com)
Agricultural Loan – First Community Credit Union
An Ag Loan from First Community Credit Union is just what you need when someone (aliens) decides to use your farmland for landing practice and leaves behind a bunch of crop circles (most likely aliens). First Community has loans for land purchases, buildings and improvements, equipment and vehicle purchases, livestock purchases, operating loans, and Ag PACE loans for farmers and ranchers.
Signs (Source: www.moviescreenshots.blogspot.com)
Bicycle Loan – Unitus Community Credit Union
If you have a “friend” who really likes Reece’s Pieces and is on the run from government agents, you can be a good
human Samaritan and give him a ride on your newly purchased bike, funded by a Bicycle Loan from Unitus Community Credit Union. It’s the least you can do—he’s just trying to phone home.
E.T. (Source: Moviespad.com)
And of course, always be on the lookout for a Sharknado on the horizon.
(Yes, those are sharks)
Sharknado (Source: Vulture)
Sharknado image from Syfy.