{"id":66034,"date":"2024-05-22T12:53:13","date_gmt":"2024-05-22T19:53:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nerdwallet.com\/ca\/?page_id=66034"},"modified":"2024-05-22T12:57:28","modified_gmt":"2024-05-22T19:57:28","slug":"set-financial-boundaries-with-aging-parents","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.nerdwallet.com\/ca\/personal-finance\/set-financial-boundaries-with-aging-parents","title":{"rendered":"Talk With Aging Parents About Money Before Issues Arise \u2014 Here’s How"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

With life expectancy and living costs on the rise, retirement savings<\/a> and government assistance for seniors may no longer be enough to cover some Canadians\u2019 expenses as they age. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roughly 3 in 10 Canadians (29%) currently assist or plan to assist their parents financially, according to a NerdWallet survey<\/a> of 1,044 Canadian adults, conducted by The Harris Poll from April 1-3, 2024.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s natural to want to help our parents as they age \u2014 doing yard work or driving to a doctor\u2019s appointment. But if parents might need financial assistance, it’s best to discuss details well in advance.

\u201cIt\u2019s really hard to provide for your own family and then the additional financial pressure to provide for your aging parents can be really tough,\u201d says Sandy Yong, a Toronto-based personal finance expert and author of \u201cThe Money Master.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This may be one reason why 39% of Canadians say they don\u2019t assist their parents financially and don\u2019t plan to start, according to the NerdWallet survey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Providing financial support to anyone can be tricky, and that\u2019s especially true when it\u2019s family. While your heart might be in the right place, taking on parental expenses without firm boundaries can put your financial wellness and relationships at risk.

Here are six tips for navigating a conversation about finances with your older loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Understand your own financial situation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you have your own family and future expenses to budget for (daycare, health care, college tuition, etc.), weigh those costs against any future support your parents might need, says Natasha Knox, a financial therapist and planner, and founder of Alaphia Financial Wellness based in Vancouver.

\u201cThat\u2019s step one. Figure out your own position and then figure out the degree (that you can help) within your own position,\u201d Knox says.

If you manage your finances with a partner<\/a>, include them in discussions about what future support of aging parents might look like. If you\u2019re both in agreement you want to help, start setting aside some money each month, live below your means and take money out of other discretionary spending pots that won\u2019t compromise your own financial goals, Knox advises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Get on the same page with your siblings<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you have siblings, it\u2019s a good idea to discuss how much financial support you can each contribute to parents later on, Yong says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You and your siblings should decide if you\u2019ll contribute equally so the responsibility is shared. Or you might agree that one sibling who can afford to help financially takes that on while another sibling who lives close by helps with caregiving duties so all of the responsibility isn\u2019t falling on the same person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Approach the conversation with compassion<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Parents are sometimes reluctant to discuss money matters because they don\u2019t want to burden their children, Knox says. Plus, some parents might feel shame about needing help and hesitate to ask for it even if they\u2019re in a tough spot. If your parents have traditionally been tight-lipped about money, that\u2019s unlikely to change overnight, she adds.

\u201cEnter into the conversation with the right intentions, with a lot of love, [and also] hold space for them to be uncomfortable,\u201d Knox says. \u201cMaybe you’ll get good answers, maybe you won’t. But I think keeping it short and sweet is a good start and allowing them to ease into the comfort of talking about the numbers is another thing. We definitely don’t want to start with that day one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Share details of your own financial plan<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your parents might be more open to sharing about their money situation if you talk about your own financial plans, Yong and Knox both say. It\u2019s also important to know whether your parents have an updated estate plan, including a written will<\/a>, power of attorney, and advanced medical directives.

If you ease into the discussion by sharing about your own estate plan<\/a>, your parents may be more willing to chime in with their own, Knox says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also important to find out where important documents are stored and who their lawyer is, if they have one. Ask your parents where they keep financial and estate plan documents so that you can find them quickly, Yong says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Ask about housing and health care<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Planning for your parents\u2019 future needs involves understanding what expenses lie ahead. Here are the three biggest considerations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n