So I make a living planning and editing content about mortgages and homeownership for NerdWallet, but I rent my home.
I know — it's an easy setup for the old "those who can't do, teach" joke, except I can do it. I've actually purchased three homes. But as a divorced, 54-year-old empty-nester, I'm not convinced I should do it again. The story isn’t just about me, though.
People feel hesitant about buying right now for a myriad of reasons, including job uncertainty, an unpredictable economy and the actual cost of getting into a home. For me, it's about putting more money toward retirement and releasing the notion that I have to own a home to build wealth. Currently, my finances and where I am in life matter more than what I’m “supposed” to do. Maybe yours do, too.
The real (personal) math of renting vs. buying
If I’m honest, the thought of taking a chunk from my retirement to buy a home scares me. The current median sale price for homes here in Lee's Summit, Missouri, is $403,000, according to the Zillow Home Values Index. That could mean spending anywhere from $12,090 (3% down, the minimum for most conventional loans) to $68,510 (17% down, the median for my age group) just to buy a home in my area.
And then there's closing costs, which can run 2% to 5% of the home’s purchase price. On the low end, that might be an additional $8,060 needed to get my keys. So even with a 3% down payment and 2% closing costs, I'm looking at more than $20,000 up front — and that’s before any necessary repairs or updates to the home.
For me, the bigger question is what else could that money be doing. Kate Ashford, NerdWallet lead wealth writer, breaks down what that could look like.
"So let's say, super conservatively, that a down payment and closing costs for a home are about $20,000. If you rent and invest that $20,000 in an account earning about 6% annually, you'd have $47,000 in 15 years," Ashford says. "If you invest another $1,000 each year instead of paying home maintenance costs, you'd have $71,000. If you start sooner, or save a slightly higher amount, you'll have even more, so it really compounds."
Ashford adds, "Also, unlike a house, after 20 years you won't have to find a buyer for your investment account. That's literally money in the bank."
The investment math is one thing, but fitting it into your retirement plan is another.
Ethel J. Davis, CEO and portfolio manager of VZD Capital Management, recommends her clients consider their retirement goals before taking on a 30-year mortgage after the age of 50.
"Go back in the last 10 years and go to that one year that you made the most money," Davis says. "So let's say that was $100,000, and then you times that by 10. And that's usually, you know, a ballpark figure — roughly how much money they may need for retirement."
Davis also encourages her clients to consider their current standard of living, as well as their financial and physical health before making such a large financial commitment.
Suddenly, the math isn’t just about whether I can afford a down payment. Every dollar I put toward one is a dollar that isn’t compounding toward my needs as I age.
Meanwhile, my job has made me hyper aware of the cost of homeownership. You’re not just paying a mortgage; you're responsible for property taxes, homeowners insurance, homeowners association fees, and repairs and maintenance.
Those costs can add up quickly. More than 3 in 5 homeowners (62%) admit that owning a home has been more expensive than they thought it would be — and 34% of homeowners consider themselves “house poor,” according to NerdWallet's 2026 Home Buyer Report.
"To make a fair comparison, you have to consider the full costs of renting vs. buying," Ashford says. “If renting costs less and you consistently invest the difference, you can still build wealth over time. And depending on your local housing market and personal circumstances, renting may be the better financial choice."
If you’re trying to decide what works best for you, compare your own numbers and consider what’s left for retirement, emergencies and just having a life. Being able to make the mortgage payment doesn’t always mean you can afford the home.
Priced out isn’t the same as left behind
Admittedly, I feel some type of way when I hear people talk about real estate as a clear path to wealth. If I still lived in the first home I purchased in 2002, it would be a tremendous asset by now. Maybe I could’ve borrowed against it to buy a rental property. Maybe I’d be sitting on a pile of equity and telling my son that buying a home was the smartest decision I’ve ever made.
But that would’ve required life to cooperate.
Divorce happens. So do layoffs, relocations, parental caregiving and all the other plot twists that occur with living life.
In 2014, I moved to another state and sold my home for $250,000. Eventually, I returned to my hometown and started saving to buy again. As a single woman, I could no longer afford the homes I was accustomed to and found myself on the losing side of every bidding war I entered on the ones I could afford. I put my pride in the pantry of my rented duplex and waved the white flag.
In 2022, I saw my old house listed for $399,000 — nearly 60% more than I’d sold it for eight years earlier. Today it's worth an estimated $450,000.
That's the kind of equity story people point to as proof that buying always wins. And I’d be lying if I said I don’t look at those numbers and calculate what I lost. It also doesn’t feel good to look at my old neighborhood and realize I can’t buy my way back into it.
But hindsight is 20/20, right? I didn’t know in 2014 what that house would be worth in 2022. I could only focus on what my life required of me at the time. And that’s the part of wealth-building we don't talk about enough. A house can build wealth, but only if your finances — and your life — allow you to hold on to it.
Nearly half of homeowners (44%) say their current home purchase was more about feelings than finances, according to NerdWallet’s 2026 Home Buyer Report.
Davis says, “Go deep inside yourself. Don't worry about what other people think, because nowadays, one size does not fit all."
A house will never feel like a home if you don’t have peace of mind inside of it. I haven’t completely ruled out buying, but at 54, a deed isn’t what proves my financial progress.
Don’t just ask whether you can afford a home. Ask what you need your money to do for you right now. Buying can be a powerful way to build wealth, but it can also be the wrong move at the wrong time. So I’ll keep watching the market, and for now, I’ll keep paying my rent, investing what I can and living a full life.
Just because you know a lot about mortgages doesn’t always mean you want one.
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